Sunday, May 31, 2009

Because I cant breastfeed I'm a BAD mom?

I wrote this on another blog a while ago...but I thought I might share it again since I feel that my blogger friend Sue needs a bit of cheering up after her posting and to prove her wrong - Sue you are a FANTASTIC OUT OF THIS WORLD MOM.



Sya seen here barely a month old....




I admit in the begining I thought that because I cant breastfeed I had a defect. I thought I could cure it second time around with Sya, but unfortunately no.

They always say breast milk is best which bothers me. Its plastered in big huge letters on babymags, at the maternity clinic and everything and anything that has to do with mothering. When I cant breastfeed, I felt that I was a failure and that I couldn't provide for Liya. It bothered me a lot, especially everytime she gets sick, I'm blamed for not giving her breastmilk.

I thought that ok, when Sya comes along, I'm be fully prepared - second chance la katakan. Bought the whole lot : nursing boppy pillow (DH calls bantal U Mobile), breast pumps etc I didn't even buy more than 2 bottles sebab confident sangat, kali ni I wont go wrong.








ERK! wrong. Nature just didn't work for me AGAIN. I would cry and get really depressed, but it wasn't going to change anything.

It was worst because everyone kept asking "susu badan ke?". It was like being able to breastfeed means you get to wear the "perfect mom sash" with the Tiara - u know like the ratu-ratu wear.

I remember how I wanted to hit myself in the face when the doktor kerajaan made a harsh remark on me not being able to do so. No wonder some moms go meroyan.

Then when you read all the baby books, baby mag and baby website - all pro breastfeeding, they always say its an excuse NOT to breastfeed. Lagilah rasa macam I ni such a BAD MOM. Not to forget relatives giving tips, apa boleh buat, senyum sumbing dan angguk.

And the looks you get. They dont understand that you have exhaust all options. I have very short nipples (ok this is a parenting blog and that wasnt suppose to sound euw) The second time I tried it, the stupid nurse at the nursery pinch my nipples so hard I wanted to die. It was so traumatic, I dreaded going to the NICU. My parents bought nipple extensions but noooo....short nipples + very very little milk = hungry baby = exhausted dont want anything else but milk NOW.

But I did express a little bit of milk and fed Sya using a small spoon. It wasnt much. I do envy moms who have it mencurah-curah. I even cried and said sorry.

So I told myself, why dwell on what your body will or will not do. Breastfeeding should be a choice not something that determines whether you're a good mom or not.

I know that when I formula feed my daugthers, I snuggle and kiss them and I know thats bonding.

Like one website says, I quote
"And for the moms who try and can’t, guilt is not going to make the situation any easier to handle. The failure to breast-feed successfully can cause guilt on its own for these women. They do not need the added pressure of turning on the TV and being told that they are, in effect, killing their babies. For some women, breast-feeding is a very personal issue. The reasons that they choose to or not to breast-feed can be very diverse, not to mention personal. These women should not be made to feel guilty about their decision. The government should provide education to women, and then support them in whatever decision they make for their family." Breastfeeding VS Formula-feeding: Is Guilt the Answer?


I could not agree more!

Saturday, May 30, 2009

Buku Bebek yg Lunyai

I must have done (or eat) something right when I was pregnant with her...

myspace graphic

Tak jemu-jemu dgn buku "bebek" dia....sampai nak lunyai.

Friday, May 29, 2009

Tag yang da KUSAM

Dah lama kena tag ni dari Laila baru sekarang nak buat...jangan marah ek dik...


So here goes

Nama Timangan anda:

Along, Yong, Kak Long, Long - Everyone in my extended family calls me this, baik sebelah Bapak dan Mak.
Ayang - DH calls me this
Fifi, Kak Fi - This was my YM name. I knew DH tru YM...so when he introduce me to his brothers, it was this name
Faye - In kantonese it means "cubby" (a more nicer word for F*T LOL) my kantonese friends called me this and I used that name for customers from downunder and NZ masa kat Amex. Itu pun ada yang PEKAK BADAK tanya exkus me 2-3 kali. When I said...."like FAYE DUNAWAY ok?" baru ada yang paham

Anda seorang yang:
Kental jiwa atau DEGIL dalam ertikata lain he he he
I think that summerizes me as a whole.


Insan teristimewa??Describekan dia terlalu Istimewa di mata anda:
DH - he's the only one with the patience to put up with me..the bad and the ugly part of me
My princesses - They are individual in their own way which MESMERIZES me


Lagu kesukaan anda:
Anything goes actually - kecuali LAGU TAMIL *jeling kat DH

Makanan kesukaan anda:
macam2 kecuali very very sweet malay desert.

Warna kesukaan anda:
dulu - biru
sekrg - hijau

Tiga benda mesti ada dlm beg anda:

* hp
* purse
* sunglasses
* kunci rumah.. errr.. dh terlebih... 4 dah..

Kali terakhir masa anda menangis & kenapa:
*malu la nak cakap keh keh keh

Thursday, May 28, 2009

Benefits for Children of Play in Nature



Following is a summary of the many benefits that regular play in nature has for children:

* Children with symptoms of Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder (ADHD) are better able to concentrate after contact with nature (Taylor et al. 2001).
* Children with views of and contact with nature score higher on tests of concentration and self-discipline. The greener, the better the scores (Wells 2000, Taylor et al. 2002).
* Children who play regularly in natural environments show more advanced motor fitness, including coordination, balance and agility, and they are sick less often (Grahn, et al. 1997, Fjortoft & Sageie 2001).
* When children play in natural environments, their play is more diverse with imaginative and creative play that fosters language and collaborative skills (Moore & Wong 1997, Taylor, et al. 1998, Fjortoft 2000).
* Exposure to natural environments improves children's cognitive development by improving their awareness, reasoning and observational skills (Pyle 2002).
* Nature buffers the impact of life's stresses on children and helps them deal with adversity. The greater the amount of nature exposure, the greater the benefits (Wells & Evans 2003).
* Play in a diverse natural environment reduces or eliminates bullying (Malone & Tranter 2003).
* Nature helps children develop powers of observation and creativity and instills a sense of peace and being at one with the world (Crain 2001).
* Early experiences with the natural world have been positively linked with the development of imagination and the sense of wonder (Cobb 1977, Louv 1991). Wonder is an important motivator for life long learning (Wilson 1997).
* Children who play in nature have more positive feelings about each other (Moore 1996).
* Natural environments stimulate social interaction between children (Moore 1986, Bixler et al. 2002).
* Outdoor environments are important to children's development of independence and autonomy (Bartlett 1996).
* Play in outdoor environments stimulates all aspects of children development more readily than indoor environments (Moore & Wong 1997).
* An affinity to and love of nature, along with a positive environmental ethic, grow out of regular contact with and play in the natural world during early childhood. Children's loss of regular contact with the natural world can result in a biophobic future generation not interested in preserving nature and its diversity (Bunting & Cousins 1985; Chawla 1988; Wilson 1993; Pyle 1993; Chipeniuk 1994; Sobel 1996, 2002 & 2004; Hart 1997; Wilson 1997, Kals et al. 1999; Moore & Cosco 2000; Fisman 2001; Kellert 2002; Bixler et al. 2002; Kals & Ittner 2003; Schultz et al. 2004).

"There's no way that we can help children to learn to love and preserve this planet, if we don't give them direct experiences with the miracles and blessings of nature."

Anita Olds

written By Randy White











Oprah's What Can You Live Without Challenge, Are You Game?

Since I've got nothing else better to do (Ha Ha) and want to put some meaning into my life, I have decided to take the challenge but maybe with exceptions. (Coz I saw the show and there were exceptions)

The Ground Rules
1. Cut out all technology—no televisions, video games, cell phones, computers, MP3 players or anything else you may use on a daily basis.
2. No eating out. Everyone must eat dinner at home as a family and brown bag it for lunch.
3. Curb your spending! The only items you can buy are groceries, and try to buy what you need for the week for $125.
4. Plan an inexpensive, creative family outing. You may spend a small amount of money on this if necessary.
5. Choose one family activity that gives back to others.
6. Mom and Dad: Plan one date night so you can connect as a couple.
7. No working late.

For the moment :
I dont have ASTRO at home. What seemed to be a lazy chore of getting someone to put the dish up has left us with coming to 3 months worth of no cable. (we delayed the subscription payment until the dish is up - whats the point of paying when you dont have the dish up!)

I am limiting the time I spent on the computer. 3 hours max.

I'm already cooking at home, so "No eating out" should be a piece of cake

We spent RM120 yesterday at Carefour (I have a baby so her stuff is out of the question I guess) I try not to waste with the cooking (this means eating leftovers)

Ok...lets start, and see how things goes.




Sunday, May 24, 2009

Nine

20 May 2009

I carried her for nine months and finally she arrived.She gave a small whimper before they whisked her away to NICU. Sya had breathing problems when she arrived and I have never been so scared stiff of my life.

The next 4 days waiting for her to come home was agonizing and when she did...she smelt of heaven.

She's nine months now from the day she was born and I can't believe how time flies so fast that she has already marked her milestone on the 9th month.

No more small whimper from this one. She toots a really loud soprano horn when she wants to...and a shrieking ear piercing scream if I try to take a toy away from her. Thats my Sya.

9 months ago I saw clothes with the 9-12months tag on them (when someone gave them as a gift from overseas) and thought..gonna be sometime before she can wear these...and now 9 months later she's already worn them for a month now (people think she is 2 y.o!)

9 months is something big for me and in some way it makes me both sad and happy.

Reluctantly I packed her drool bibs, booties and rompers 2 months ago in zip lock bags. Also the "barut" that still had that baby smell on them...I wondered if they were going to be used again (maybe next year???? I can never be bored of having babies...LOL). I celebrated this as the passing of me having a NEW BORN. I now have a baby.

And when 9 months came...and she started to sit, crawl with ease and confidence, I celebrated the passing of her becoming more and more into a toddler. Sedey babe.

Now when she flips my recipe book with careful fingers (it had a hardcover..somehow she associates this as being a BOOK..coz my bapak's ASTRO VIEW is in shreds right now..so go figure). When I go back home to KL, I have to admit, I will sadly need to pack her cloth books in those ziplock bags as well :(

Last 2 days she took her first step but has some difficulty in landing. She still needs to spread her feet out when she lands but she's already got the courage to lift one her feet with her hands sprawled out to balance so it will be a matter of weeks or even days before she starts walking on her own.

She's babbling. "Mama mamam" seems to be her word of the day everyday (she makes a great personal trainer coz she must have seen a lot me stuffing myself than doing anything else, so thats a constant reminder for me to stop snacking LOL) Suprisingly...OPAH was her first word besides MAMA.

But the best of all is that if any female members of the family wears a tudung, she will disregard everything around her and chase that family member down, scream at the top of her head if she has to...because she knows we only wear tudung to go out and going out is fun - other words...Sya loves to travel!

This second girl of mine has a lot of character. She is a fighter...determined and brave, spirited! - she did that for the first 4 days...am not suprised she will continue to be one her whole life.

Below are some of my favorite snippets from 0 to 9. To all the other babies celebrating their milestones...have a BLESSED and great one!



Taken : 8:16PM 20 August 2008 (she was born at 3.45PM on same day)



1 month



2 Month - during her cukur jambul ceremony



3 Month - spotting a Harry Potter scar (she got creative after I took off the mitts)



3 Month and a half - first Eidul Fitri and traveling on the road from KL to Penang and back to Johor



4 Months - she has a great taste and sense in fashion



..and also a TASTE for food



5 Months - She learnt that mommy is a shutterbug



6 Months - her posses are so natural...



7 months - She traveled to Langkawi




8 Months - She learnt the joy of having a SAHM




9 Months - She loves books, singing, making cat sounds and a PRO infront of the camera



A'aesyah Marissa Izardy is such a big girl now...(my fav pic so far)


Friday, May 22, 2009

Posted - Stuck

At the moment I am based at my parent's house in Batu Pahat Johor while DH finishes the project at Pasir Gudang. Its coming to a month now and from the call I got from him yesterday because he is doing an excellent job at providing prompt feedback and status back to his big bosses, they have extended his stay that. I asked him how long more will it be until we set foot back in Subang, he had a concerned tone...his voice seemed liked there was a permanent transfer to JB.

I'm still in the dark right now and working on DIAL UP is very very inconvinient. But in due course when things are back to square one, I'll definately write more.

Till then, have a great father's day celebration ahead and have a fun week at work and great weekend after.



Wednesday, May 06, 2009

Mother's Day Ideas - Hearty Breakfast

If you ask me what I will some of the fortunes leave for my daughters when I am gone - a whole big bookcase of recipe books.

My own mother has passed down to me some going back to publications before I was born. However I have 2 daughters. Only Liya at the moment is showing some interest in cooking.

Last month I came across an Annabel Karmel Cookbook. Cost me a wooping RM28 but I've spend more that RM300 in a day for books, what's RM28 for the stuff I'm about to learn to cook from the book.



One of my favourite page is "Mom's the Word" section. The one that caught my eye was the heart shaped sunny side up in a toast. This was also the reason I hunted for a heart shape cookie cutter.





So, for trial I tried to make one today, a hearty breakfast to start my morning. I also baked some Tater Tots (mini harshbrowns) - I used Tater Towers from Simplot. I had them for the sides with some baked beans.



Personally I think this would not only be great for a mother's day breakfast but for picky eaters and a surprised birthday breakfast or anniversary as well.



Tuesday, May 05, 2009

Bring Out the Sun Hat...



There was a slight breeze today eventhough the weather was hot.






Good chance for Sya to sit outside for a bit, listen to the birds and enjoy the sun



I got to do the laundry at the same time as well. Killing two birds with one stone.



And by the time we were finished, it was time for her feed. She feel asleep after that. This is how important it is to let that lioness energy out of this baby becoming toddler.

Monday, May 04, 2009

Attempting the Impossible

The Curios Case of Sewing a Button Hole.
I am dipping my hand into dangerous waters...but for Sya I will..





I did another dress for her. This I call the patchwork peasant girl dress. Mom taught me how to cut fabric for a 40s inspired rock and roll skirt which I did with this one.


















Weather so crazy hot these days, cotton can be heaven.
We went to TESCO's EXTRA in Shah Alam later.
Saw some crazy storm clouds. Very freaky...like something from TWISTER you know.
I took this with my camera phone


OK. I've put the fullproof vest on. Fingers cross I dont muck up the button hole too much.

Its 365 days of summer

I'm glad there is little rain today. Sya and me took a stroll this morning and the weather was marvelous.



And she was spotted with a handmade empress waistline dress. Chique no?




About Me

Farah Rahim is the co founder of the REAL FOOD movement in Malaysia under the local support group called "HOMEMADE - Air Tangan Ibu" as well as an advocate of managing asthma, allergies and eczema naturally via NaturalAAE. She's the official Malaysia's ambasador of Jamie's Food Revolution. When not an activist she's a Stay at Home Mom to 3 girls who loves nothing but good ol' homecooked meals.