Tuesday, June 23, 2009

Confession - sila sediakan tissue

Confesion
...argh hate this but I'm doing this because my current hubby is doing a great job at being dad.
And this posting should have been done way before.
But since we are still some how in the mood of father's day
and my current husband is so busy trying to "put bread on the table" for us...
I've tried to find that strength in myself to write this.

Yes you heard me right. CURRENT. My current husband.

Adakah itu bermaksud Puan QM pernah berkahwin lain sebelum ini?
*angguk-tunduk-malu*

SO the cat is out of the bag.
...wait. Buat apa nak malu.
DH is like an angel sent from heaven.

Honesty...

I am saying this on behalf of my first born daughter Aliya Maisarah.
As you have noticed, I rarely talk about her, only because she is back home with my parents...
Only because 2 years ago I was a single mom since she was 5 months old.
On my own, I had to find work to support myself and my baby.

They always say, its the kids who suffer most in a divorce.
I dont want to say anything bad about her biological dad.
She has not seen him since she was 5 months, never had a chance to even know him.

Mom always said
"Don't worry, by the time she goes to school, probably half the kids at school might have only a single parent"

That kept me going.

I give up on trying to do her justice a long time ago and I dont want to thread on muddy waters again...
Her dad has his own family (2 daughters) now so let him be happy with the life he chooses.
SHE's EXTREMELY HAPPY NOW WHY SHOULD I?

But her paternal grandparents (my x-FIL and MIL) still love her to bits.
(I get very queasy when I have to visit them during Hari Raya...but they came to my brother's wedding and they always visit us to see Aliya. I was the wife of their only son...THEN

So this year's father's day, I didnt want to focus on DH being a dad to Syasya. He's GREAT at that.

I wanna focus on how FABULOUS he is at being a STEP DAD to Aliya that he treats her better than I do sometimes

-I didnt wanna spoil her on her 8th birthday so I told her I couldnt find the inline skates she wanted. DH drove to 3 shopping malls before he found the perfect set. He did that behind my back.



-He comes home during the school holidays and asked Aliya what she did for the day, which homework did she do. I'm too busy minding the housework and the baby I forget.



-He reminds me not to take too many photos of Sya as it is unfair to Aliya.



-He takes her off to TESCOs, his badminton practice etc without even me forcing him to do so.



-Aliya holds on to him tanpa rasa kekok...respects him as she should respect a dad, coz he's the only dad she knows.



-He irritates her (I call it menjengkelkan) coz he loves to hear her fussing about it (which is an exact replica of what I would do as well)






-He reminds me everysingleday to remind my dad about Aliya's school transfer to Subang next year. I get annoyed when he asked me too often. Then I feel bad.



-He tells me, that am so great at being a mom to Aliya he wouldnt imagine why anyone would not want me to be their children's mom. He wishes that he could turn back time and that I never met anyone else...and that we had met each other first.



*I have to pause now to wipe my tears.



and he has only been Liya's "daddy" for 2 years...

The only person who knows about this is my friend since college and takdir because if she didnt have a friend like me, she wouldnt have thought to FIGHT for her husband back when she was in confinement.

...I told this to only the closest to me:
"I waited in that parking lot for him to come home and face my parents...to talk things over, find a solution. I sat at the curve with 2 month old Aliya...he said he was going back to his friend's apartment (he was staying since we got separated) to change his pants. He never came back...
The next morning my mom found a note underneath the door...asking them to bring me back home with them...sampai sini sahaja jodoh kami berdua..."

"He told me, mana tau satu hari nanti Tuhan nak balikkan hati I..mintak maaf kat you.."

I was young...naive...and I believed it. I never fought for my man.

My mother told me once, Aliya found some old wedding photos of me and her biological dad...she liquid papered (blanco) his face. Tergamam I kejap

So this father's day I want to tell the whole world why my DH is a GREAT FABOULOUS FATHER and husband as well.

because he is just not an ordinary DAD..

and I want to tell him why sometimes I act that way....and that I want him to have all the patience he has for me...

being hurt this way, takes a toll on your life.
It hurts you as well...I know.
You dont understand why I cant just move on...
I had 7 years of agony...and only 2 years of bliss with you..
It doesnt mean that I dont love you...

It just means..when I remember how hurt I was and I have you by my side.I feel so much better...and that tells me how much I love and will continue to love my current and insya-allah only husband I ever want until death do us part.

Ayang....HAPPY FATHER'S DAY. This is for you from us - Mama, Syasya and especially from LIYA



13 comments:

  1. Sweet..
    And it's a very touching story..
    May there'll be more good years to come for you and your family..
    =)

    ReplyDelete
  2. Farah,
    I know ur DH during our study in UTM and he is one of my closest friend in Mechy that time...and i would say that u ur bless with his love and passion...he is full of love, a great listener, a very understanding guy and...dear, u ur lucky..from the 'expanding' of him, i would say he is happy to be there by ur side and..u ur doing a very good job of taking care of him...

    ReplyDelete
  3. Farah dear,

    Hey u got a second chance at love, and he is one hell of a man, now how many of us could be that lucky kan.frm ur stories ur 'current' lover is so attached to you guys.Alhamdullillah, Dia bagi u ujian, ribut taufan dan panas terik dulu sebab nak bagi u pelangi sekarang.

    Happy Father's Day to ur DH and may u two bersama sehingga ke hujung usia, Amin

    ReplyDelete
  4. *kesat mata & hidung* I really am! Suker tawwwww buat i syahdu syahdu macam ni..Huhuhu..Abis maskara I!

    Anyway QM, my heart bleeds reading this entry. Btol kata DR, now pelangi is all over your life. Even I can see it! :-) Moga berkekalan. Aminnn!!

    Happy Father's Day DH!!

    ReplyDelete
  5. farah,

    nasib baik u suruh standby tisu and nasib baik kat sebelah i ni ada tisu (ank2 i kan selsema so standby tisu le byk2)...huk..huk...so sedih la but that was then...now u are happy kan...lucky Liya to have a good 'dad' now...semoga berkekalan hingga ke syurga u and your DH :D

    ReplyDelete
  6. *sob*sob*sob*

    I'm sooo touched!..semoga kalian bahagia sehingga ke akhir hayat.. you deserve it..

    ReplyDelete
  7. saya adalh salah seorg dlm divorce family ini..jaga yek hati aliya (saya sudah merasainya)...tp thanks god dpt father yg baik ati.alhamdulillah!!aliya adalh budak yg bertuah.

    ReplyDelete
  8. *speechless* ..

    anyway may life be good to you until the end of time =)

    Happy Fathers Day to Liya & Syasya's great dad!

    ReplyDelete
  9. "He tells me, that am so great at being a mom to Aliya he wouldnt imagine why anyone would not want me to be their children's mom. He wishes that he could turn back time and that I never met anyone else...and that we had met each other first."

    I am so touched, bergenang air mata... Hanya jauhari mengenal manikam. Allah dah janji, perempuan yang baik untuk lelaki yang baik. I guess you are "perempuan yang baik", that's why jodoh pertama tak panjang, because your ex doesn't deserve you. Your DH does, sebab dia lelaki yang baik.

    (p/s: This is my first time singgah kat blog ni.)

    ReplyDelete
  10. gosh...so many comments....
    am touched!!...need more tissue.
    thanks peps. you've just made DH's day even more better today *wink

    ReplyDelete
  11. so touching...
    just to share with u...
    ALLAH uji keikhlasan bila kita bersendirian...
    ALLAH beri kedewasaan bila ada masalah...
    ALLAH latih kesabaran dlm kesakitan...
    ALLAH tak pernah mengambil sesuatu yg kita sayang kecuali MENGGANTIKAN DENGAN YANG LEBIH BAIK...

    ramai org ckp susah nk lupakan yang first...but ramai jugak yang cakap second one lebih membahagiakan...

    ReplyDelete
  12. Farah, you are truly blessed to have been given the second chance to happiness. DH is truly a great Dad..mana nak cari lelaki macam ni sekarang besides my hubby pun baik jugak..:-)

    ReplyDelete
  13. *lap air mata* isk isk... mata masuk habuk lah

    ReplyDelete

About Me

Farah Rahim is the co founder of the REAL FOOD movement in Malaysia under the local support group called "HOMEMADE - Air Tangan Ibu" as well as an advocate of managing asthma, allergies and eczema naturally via NaturalAAE. She's the official Malaysia's ambasador of Jamie's Food Revolution. When not an activist she's a Stay at Home Mom to 3 girls who loves nothing but good ol' homecooked meals.