Tuesday, March 22, 2011

The One About Justice For Arwah Adelia Part 2 (Its Never About The Money)

I would be lying if I did not shed a tear again today as I breastfeed Melia.

I would be lying if everytime I open my blog I see the angelic face that bares a slight resemblance to Melia.

I would be with NO HEART if I did not admit I am deeply - deeply moved by this incident.

Arwah was born on 13th January 2011. Melia was born on the 17th December 2011. Evenso Melia was only 38 weeks when she was born. She would have been around the same age if she was "allowed" to be born by 40 week gestation.

My nephew Fauzan was born on 21 January 2011.

Ironically, it was in March 2 years ago I had asked myself the 7 magical questions from "Should You Be a Stay-at-Home Mom? By Soni Sangha.

"Ask yourself these 7 questions to help you determine if being a stay-at-home mom is right for your personality and your family's needs."

But I am here today NOT to highlight my achievements of being a stay-at-home mom.


Infact, Moms who go to work and leave their children in the care of someone else are truly by far TO ME are more STRONGER and BRAVER.

I do not have the guts. In retrospect I admit I am a coward.

So today I salute you Working Moms whom have continued to do what you think is best suited for your family. I salute the warrior in you that is brave enough to let another hand rock the cradle. I salute the dignified effort you posses to be able to wave your child goodbye and see her or him again after office. The time you spend waking up in the wee hours of the morning to PUMP Milk from your own blood and even tears to supply your little ones with the BEST you can have at hand. The hard labor of preparing a whole week of purees to be frozen because you simple want the best and only THE BEST. I salute the brave front you put when the 2 months are up.

For a mother who has done that TWICE in her life, it is never ever easy and definately is it NEVER about the money. We all want the best for our family. 

No mother should ever lose a child.

So when I heard about some of THE heartless comments made about MONEY as the motivation for arwah's mother's to work, please...I am sure these people WHO COMMENT are either not MOTHERS or have no HEART. The issue here is TRUST people!

When A'aesyah first babysitter suddenly dropped the bom on me that she could no longer take care of her, I knew it would happen sooner or later. She was young, had a CP child and I knew the MOTIVATION was purely for money. 

So when Deanna came along, she was a gift sent down from heaven straight into my mail box. Printed out on a small piece of white paper where her Name and number and an add calling moms who needed her service. 

Deanna quit her job as an assistant manager to focus on her own child. She had a maid. 

The first time I met her, I was skeptical - she was Thai married to a muslim, greeted me with her hotpants and tank top (at her home of course) I did have reservations but then maybe I was suppose to look BEYOND the tank top and hotpants and RM450 which was STEEP according to the standard rate those days.

  • She never ONCE complained about me sending Sya in the wee hours of the morning during my ANZ shift
  • She followed all my STRICT instructions - including giving enough plain water when Sya needs them. TO THIS DAY, MY SYA AMAZES PEOPLE because she prefers plain water to Ribena or any other sweet drink (well..except for fresh milk that is)
  • She has diligently warmed up my purees to feed Sya. 
  • She has even volunteered to take Sya overnight for 3 days when I was hospitalized (for nearly a month) Sya was later transported back under the care of my parents during the course I had spent at the hospital.

~ oh PLEASE. Have you no SHAME for such comments? (read Arwah's Grandma's thoughts on this issue here)


Arwah Adelia in happier times with her kakak Alesha

My kids doing what they do best - be a source of happiness for each other

Tell me you do not feel how amiss Alesha will feel...
"Kalau iye pun u rasa diri u hebat dan org lain salah, tolong la pick better time and place to show your 'wisdom'. No need to pour salt on the wound"

tists tists tists *geleng kepala

Justice should prevail for Arwah Adelia Bt Fariza

This is not just Justice for a 2 month old baby. This is to ensure that her passing on will leave a mark and a reminder that our country needs a "MOMMY FRIENDLY LEGISLATION/POLICY" for Daycare Centres across the country to be SAFER and TRUSTWORTHY, please help by adding the pledge badge to your widget on your blog

As a SAHM who used to be a WM, I believe that most Malaysian mothers do not opt out OR are driven by MONEY to send their children to day care centers.

SAHM make the decisions because they are pushed out by workplace inflexibility and WM are forced to leave their children in the TRUST of Day Care Centres AGAIN by workplace inflexibility.

And those "inflexibility" need to be SERIOUSLY discussed or dealt with on a NATIONAL LEVEL
Studies have shown that an organization which values its employees and recognizes the importance of work life balance stands to win in terms of staff morale and commitment (Nadeem & Hendry, 2003; Liddicott, 2003

In order to maintain Malaysia's competitive edge in the global economy, there is an urgent need to reduce its dependence on foreign labour and a "brain drain" culture. Policies which promote re-entry of women who have taken time off for child care and more flexibility at the work place need to be implemented by both public and private sectors in a more serious and systematic manner.

Flexibility in the work place and more FFPs (Family Friendly Policies) will not only benefit the organizations to access the global economy but also enable better work life balance and lead to a greater labour force participation among women in Malaysia.(souce : Family friendly policies in Malaysia: where are we?)


  1. terasa dihargai bila kak farah antara insan yg menghargai ibu2 keluar bekerja utk cari rezeki....
    thank u kak farah

    al fatihah buat arwah adelia

  2. Such a cute little angel..al fatihah..allah lebih menyayangi anak itu...