Thursday, September 15, 2011

I'm a SAHM so am a broke ass degree holder?

..I wanted to write 5 Tips to Keep Kids from Getting Sick but I got sidetrack :P



Salah satu sebab why I looked upon the idea of becoming a FTHW or SAHM in 2009 had to do with something my TL pointed out - as you become a mother, you constantly have to take ELs to cater the need or needs of your children's health as well.

SO to be fair to myself and to my children and even to my colleagues I gave in to that idea only because I PERSONALLY THINK at that moment my children were small and fragile.

Alhamdulillah, the days have been easier when the kids have a few sniffles and coughs here and there. Even the husband is pleased. He's got a pound off his shoulders by not having to explain why he cant come to work to his bosses. Not that he doesn't care, but he brings in the bread and he should not need to worry so much.

“This world is just temporary conveniences, and the best comfort in this world is a righteous women.” Sahih Muslim 10/56, Kitab al-rida’, bab istihbab nikah al-bikr


It wasn't an easy decision. A high rising career in a Multinational Company with a 4 figure salary higher than previous jobs and endless perks, it was simple "GILA" to just stop in the mids of that.

I had to move houses so my husband could be closer to his office. I had to find a new babysitter after we moved which made me cringe because I had to let go of Diana my babysitter in Ampang and I DIDNT WANT TO and although money was tight back then, I brave myself to let go of almost everything just so my children had an equal chance of growing up in my own personal care the way I see most fit.

My dad once said, blood is thicker than water and I think I share the same sentiments. Besides, money wise - half of my income would go to traveling, food and day care so what's the point anyway.

It might not be THE most satisfying job in terms of monetary values, but at least now I have the time to actually "study" and make sure I'm doing my job if not better, at least better than when I had Aliya.

But then once in a while I hear a few cynical voices about how I've tucked my teaching degree and let dust gather

...but I'm still learning...
and still finding that there isn't enough hours in a day or full knowledge capacity to be a MOM - only because my kids are still SMALL.

Yes I still have dreams, aspirations, they havent stopped and I have not stop functioning to be come imperial to the benefits of my family, religion or society (if that is what is implied)

The thing is, I'm the one being question in front of God in the afterlife if anything does go wrong with my kids - degree or no degree. Work can wait, my children's IMPERIAL needs of becoming a functioning adult to her family, religion, society and even mankind comes FIRST.

I shall be questioned on THAT...no GOD will not question why I have left dust to gather on a piece of paper.

Sure, I might be looked upon as a total failure (for not working?) but if my kids dont grow up to become a nuisance to my family or society I'm not at total loss. At least I am being realistic - I'm a mom. It's a responsibility GIVEN to be my Allah swt. It would be wrong for me to not give that careful consideration.

...correction - its  HUGE RESPONSIBILITY given to me by Allah swt

At least I have time to teach proper values..PROPER MUSLIM MALAY VALUES to my kids with the hopes that for example they will not forget where they come from or *cough* who their 12 other great uncles and aunts are :P

Imam Ali son of Abu Talib (as) said: May Allah have mercy on the one who helps his child towards righteousness by being good to him, appealing to him, teaching him knowledge, and training him

...so why should a few misguided minds think I am a total failure fr being a broke ass degree holder - I dem-ly well decide what is in my best interest to ensure I deserve to have that piece of heaven under my feet.



p/s if you're still interested in knowing about the 5 tips, check it out here

pp/s I asked Aliya, if I die would she still make duas for me (after all the "membebel" I do to her) she said - "of course Ma" without a single pause. I asked her "do you make duas for me now? " - she said "sometimes" and I asked "why lah?" which she said "you can still ask yourself now, but when you're gone you can't so thats when I ask more for you lah" :P ~ I'm not complaining

Allah's Messenger [صلی اللہ علیہ وسلم] said: "When a man dies, his good deeds come to an end except three: ongoing charity, beneficial knowledge and righteous offspring who will pray for him." [Sahih Muslim: 3084]

3 comments:

  1. How lovely knowing u raised up ur kids well.
    Well done

    ReplyDelete
  2. I TRY to - time will tell. Its scary

    ReplyDelete
  3. how come being a SAHM is bad? Even if I'm not one, I surely know its hard work...

    Why can't just people respect others people choices la? Tsk tsk tsk.. *terlebih membebel plak..eheheheh..*

    ReplyDelete

About Me

Farah Rahim is the co founder of the REAL FOOD movement in Malaysia under the local support group called "HOMEMADE - Air Tangan Ibu" as well as an advocate of managing asthma, allergies and eczema naturally via NaturalAAE. She's the official Malaysia's ambasador of Jamie's Food Revolution. When not an activist she's a Stay at Home Mom to 3 girls who loves nothing but good ol' homecooked meals.